Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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