it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
