i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Sorry my hands just texted you
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
