My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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