but the lizard people decide everything anyway
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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