Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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