How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
The air taste purple.
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