So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
should my penis look like a turkey
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
