Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Randomize
