Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
