i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I am never drinking with the goths again.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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