i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
it hurts more in the daytime
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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