You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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