Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize