yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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