His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Randomize
