this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
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