Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
whose parrot is this?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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