There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
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I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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