They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
