we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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