So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
