You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
