OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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