Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Ketchup is God's man juice
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
