I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize