SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
