I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
