Where is the hickey?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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