Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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