Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
