Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
