I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
