my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.