I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD