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i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
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