You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence