arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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