i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
