Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize