arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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