the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
