wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
