I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Randomize
