New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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