Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
