he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
