This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
my being single is dangerous.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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