Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
