I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize