So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
