I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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