just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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