I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
