one might say we're banned from that church
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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