Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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